


Stats

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Fluff & Angst [44]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 15:46:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8377966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Kylo isn't careful.





	

It’s late. He should be asleep. In fact, it’s so late it’s gone beyond what should be his sleeping time and into when he should be rising. Now it’s too late to do anything but mainline caf. 

He should be up to shower, shit, shave. Up to iron out the creases on his clothes, instead of the new ones forming on his face. There’s grit in his eyes that blinking won’t dislodge, nor can a hand scrape clean. His bladder is almost too full, but he’s punishing himself by making his body wait until he has to void. 

And why is he doing this? Why has he court martialled himself and sentenced himself to bodily discomfort? To a day with his mouth dry and his head pounding from sleep deprivation? 

That idiot. That moron. That black exclamation mark, punctuating his life with a raised voice and emotional intent. 

He’s currently in the medbay, and Hux won’t go to see him, but he has a permanent stream of vitals just an eyedart away. It’s closer than his bedside: watching the beating of his heart, the oxygen saturation, the temperature fluctuations, the breathing rates. It’s more intimate than he could be if he was in the room to shout. 

Ren is recovering, but he’s still not out of the woods. Hux shouldn’t care at all, but he wants to… Just to make sure… 

The strange, empty hole in his stomach is angry and hungry. It’s no sleep and anxiety, and… he shouldn’t feel it, but… 

He needs to know. Needs to know if he’s going to make it through. He wants to shake him and ask why he’s so determined to die? Does he matter so little to himself? 

Hux thinks the answer would be ‘yes’, but how could he ever make Ren change his mind, when all that streams from his own lips is criticism? He can’t say nice things, or do nice things, and it’s just… 

There’s a blip in the sinus rhythm, and Hux nearly falls out of his chair. 

Live. Live, you moron. Please. Just be okay. 

His feet hit the floor and he goes to piss away the tension, hoping no one will know he’s been up all night fretting. 

Just live. Please.


End file.
